Holly Anderson

The title of Holly Anderson’s self-portrait, Not not a mother, is a quote from Canadian writer Sheila Heti. Its double negative challenges the social definition of a woman by something she is not. The phrase implies a state of neutrality, a way of being that can be shared by all women.

‘At this time in my life, whether or not I should have a child is a question that I carry around,’ says Anderson, a first-time Archibald finalist. ‘Few decisions seem as binary, or world-shaping, or as routinely brushed off in conversation. I think about it in the studio; is it better to make paintings or make babies? Or find a way, through sacrifice, to have both? The question is existential: how – and for whom – does one choose to live?’

Anderson painted the self-portrait in her studio. Squares of colour arranged on a white primer create a figure in a gridded plane. A bright spot of unpainted space obscures the belly.

‘Is it full of light or empty of colour?’ asks Anderson. ‘My hands hold it lightly – the shape of the future, the weight of my decision.’